Summer might not officially begin until June 20th, but traditionally Memorial Day weekend has always marked the beginning of warmer weather, shorter work weeks, the end of the school year, an influx of mosquitoes and bees, and of course, big blockbusters. Forget what it says on your calendars. Summer is here.
The pricey throwback reboot Men in Black 3 rings in the season (check out my box office prediction below), and many more big-budget, hyped-up films are to follow.
Here’s what you have to look forward to this summer:
Sequels
Adaptations
Reboots/Remakes
June:
1st: Snow White and the Huntsman – Kristen Stewart faces off against Charlize Theron in a dark twist on the classic fairytale, sans dwarfs. Big marketing campaign, big names, big story; this might not be a huge hit, but it’ll be big enough to make what it needs to turn a profit. Box Office Winner.
Piranha 3DD – “Double the action. Double the terror. Double the D’s.” Box Office Bust.
8th: Prometheus– Ridley Scott’s not-prequel to Alien, starring the original girl with the dragon tattoo Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron (June is her month!) and Guy Pearce. Box Office Winner.
Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted– The Madagascar franchise meets the circus meets a lot of parents taking their kids to the first animated flick of the summer to get out of the house = Box Office Winner.
15th: Rock of Ages– So You Think You Can Dance’s Adam Shankman directs Tom Cruise in this Broadway adaptation that surely won’t haul in the audiences or the cash that Warner Brothers is betting on. Box Office Bust.
22nd: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter– Tim Burton produces this adaptation of Seth Grahame-Smith’s bestseller that’s already getting a ton of welcome attention thanks to its stellar trailer, but it still has a very limited audience. Box Office Toss-Up.
Brave – Pixar’s first flick since the Cars 2 disaster looks fiery and fun, a guaranteed hit amongst families and all those not looking for historical fiction with fangs this weekend. Box Office Winner.
29th: G.I. Joe: Retaliation – It-guy Channing Tatum teams up with Bruce Willis and the Rock in this second G.I. Joe flick. Considering The Rise of Cobra’s surprising success in 2009, this one should fare just as well. Box Office Winner.
Magic Mike – It’s Channing Tatum weekend, as he also headlines this Steven Soderbergh comedy about the life of young male strippers. This one’s getting a lot of press, but will have a hard time finding its audience amongst the male demographic that they need to turn a profit. Box Office Toss-Up.
Madea’s Witness Protection – Tyler Perry brings his loyal fans yet another Madea movie that will have him rolling in even more cross-dressing cash. Box Office Winner.
July:
6th: The Amazing Spider-Man – This much-debated (is it really necessary?) “other” Spider-Man franchise stars Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone, and if the past success of superhero flicks and this film’s hype and marketing is any indication, this one will be a big Box Office Winner, whether we needed another Peter Parker or not.
13th: Ice Age: Continental Drift 4 – The last flick in this series became one of the highest grossing animated movies of all-time in 2009, and while this one probably won’t fare so well at home this summer, it will make its money back tenfold abroad. Box Office Winner.
Ted – I thought this trailer was a joke, maybe an SNL skit or something, but it wasn’t. Seth MacFarlane directs, writes, and stars as an animated teddy bear alongside Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis in this movie about Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, and Seth MacFarlane as an animated teddy bear. I don’t know. Box Office Toss-Up.
20th: The Dark Knight Rises – The final installment in Christopher Nolan’s Batman franchise brings together Tom Hardy, Liam Neeson, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Anne Hathaway, Gary Oldman, and Morgan Freeman to star alongside the caped Christian Bale in what will easily be the biggest film of the summer. Box Office Champion.
27th: The Watch – The comedy that suffered a release date change and a name change thanks to the Trayvon Martin neighborhood watch tragedy stars Jonah Hill, Ben Stiller, and Vince Vaughn as suburban dads that must defend the Earth from aliens.
Step Up 4 – With each flick doing worse than its predecessor, this one won’t have many people dancing into its theaters. Box Office Bust.
August:
3rd: Total Recall – This reboot replaces Arnold with the vaguely unlikable Colin Farrell and a cast made up of pretty faces Kate Beckinsdale and Jessica Biel, and also Bryan Cranston. Too early to comment on the marketing campaign, which will be key for this film, or to gauge what the actual audience interest is here (I don’t think it’s too high as of now). Box Office Toss-Up.
The Bourne Legacy – The Bourne movies have always fared well in theaters, and now that Damon has been replaced with rising star Jeremy Renner as a new agent with an entirely new backstory, the entire franchise might just get the rebirth it wants. Box Office Winner.
17th: The Expendables 2 – The Expendables reunite and some new friends are invited too: Liam Hemsworth, Jason Statham, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Jet Li, and Chuck Norris. This debuts on a pretty uncompetitive weekend as the summer rounds up, so it should top the charts with modest earnings. Box Office Winner.
29th: Lawless – The director of The Road and writer of The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford bring us this adaptation of a crime western novel, starring Tom Hardy, Shia LaBeouf, Gary Oldman, Guy Pearce, and Jessica Chastain. Definitely promising for critical acclaim, but not necessarily a commercial success. Box Office Toss-Up.
So there’s your summer in simple movie terms, and now you can begin cancelling all your boring weekend plans and get ready to spend your time cooling off in some dark movie theaters.
Happy Memorial Day, and Happy Summer.
